Gay dating app addiction
On the first day, you might leave your phone in a drawer for an hour; by the end of the week, for three hours; and by the end of two weeks for several hours at a time. The suggestion to start out by simply locking your phone in a drawer might sound a little too obvious or even trite to take seriously.
But what's the alternative? Perhaps putting my damn phone in a drawer for a few hours a day, however painful at first, could have helped me to clear my mind enough to realize this fact on my own.
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- I’m a gay psychiatrist. Here’s why I went on Grindr to survey men.;
In the end, it only took a small handful of OkCupid messages for me to schedule the date that would eventually lead to more dates that would eventually lead to the relationship I wanted in the first place. Everything beyond that was just a big waste of time. Want to finally quit hookup apps? Here's how to get out of the validation vortex.
Want to finally quit hookup apps? Here's how to get out of the validation vortex
Mic invites contributors and staff to share their personal stories and perspectives. Copy link. By Nicolas DiDomizio. Email Follow. Related stories by this author. Recommended video. Here's why. You might just be surprised at how good old fashioned honesty works to your advantage. Right, playing with Mr.
Right Now, even business networking. The moment you try to make them the holy grail of gay matrimony when in reality you just wanted to hook-up, you might find yourself sorely disappointed and incapable of getting it up Curious about life coaching? Want to get it a try? You and me. No obligation. Schedule your Complimentary Session today.
More dating coach advice on YourTango: Follow Us. Sign in. Grindr can make those feelings go away.
The Truth About Apps for Gay Men
The attention and potential for sex distract from painful emotions. A staggering number of gay men suffer from depression, with some estimates as high as 50 percent. Unfortunately, these messages are typically only skin-deep: A recent survey of , iPhone users by Time Well Spent , a nonprofit focused on the digital attention crisis, showed that 77 percent of Grindr users felt regret after using the app. The users I interviewed told me that when they closed their phones and reflected on the shallow conversations and sexually explicit pictures they sent, they felt more depressed, more anxious, and even more isolated.
Some experience overwhelming guilt following a sexual encounter in which no words are spoken. And yet they keep coming back for that temporary emotional relief.
One user told me that he feels so bad after a hookup that he jumps right back on the app, continuing the cycle until he is so tired he falls asleep. Every once in a while, he deletes the app, but he finds himself downloading it the next time he feels rejected or alone.
Not all Grindr users are addicted and depressed, of course. Some users I interacted with seem to use Grindr in a healthy, positive way. Why do so many of these men turn to Grindr to begin with? One year-old user told me that the only places he can find gay men are clubs and Grindr, and both are hypersexualized. The cultures of both intimidate him. The year-old is afraid of rejection, and Grindr shields him from the pain of in-person turndowns. His relationships, he says, start with casual sex on Grindr.
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They first meet at 2 am for a hookup. Then the next step may be drinks. Another user told me he downloaded the app hoping to find a husband. The mental health professionals I spoke to are seeing problematic Grindr use in their clinics. And there is little published guidance on how to help those who are struggling.
Dating Coach: How Gay Apps May Be Ruining Your Chances at Love | YourTango
Doctors I spoke to say the best available tools for treating problematic Grindr use are the ones they use in general sex addiction treatment. Citalopram, a common antidepressant, was shown in one small study to be helpful with sex addiction in gay men. Naltrexone, a drug commonly used for other compulsive behaviors, may work as well. For more extreme cases, patients could request hormonal implants that turn off testosterone signaling, making sexual cravings less intense.
However, even these treatments have modest empirical support at best , and none have been studied for hookup app use specifically.